The importance of positivity

The importance of positivity, I know we've heard that phrase many times and didn't think much of it, but it's so important.

For me, it's important to step back sometimes, not just from studying and working but from life. This will allow you to perceive it from a different perspective, right? I don't mean to pretend nothing is wrong, I mean to seek support when you need it and see your life for what it in fact is.

If we prioritise time for ourselves to understand if we are genuinely happy and if we are making viable decisions, those decisions that will better our lives, I assure you it will be a time not wasted.

At school and during my undergraduate degree, I was a negative thinker. I would make decisions with a negative thought trailing to the forefront of my head. I would think about something negative and fear anything and everything would happen to me before even making the decision. Hmm...Doesn''t sound good, does it? I would overthink so much and by overthinking about all the possibilities that would go wrong, I would escape that situation; alter plans, apologise for not picking up the phone, go home, and avoid talking to people.

At that moment, it felt excellent! Well for a split second. Afterward, certain thoughts would come back to me, the feeling of "why?". "Why didn't I go?" "Why didn't I thoroughly enjoy the experience?" "Why did I let the anxiety control me"? A feeling of annoyance always seemed to come back to me, as to why I had to think. Over time, I have learnt to do what I want and if I feel like it, I will do it and if I dont, I don't, it is what is is. Full stop. End of story.

However, at the time, it feels right, nubbing the pain or whatever. It feels like the right thing to do... well in your head. But it becomes a cycle of being positive about an event or experience etc., and when it indeed happens, the anxious thoughts come running in and the thought of doing it scares you, so you end up not doing what you wanted to do in the first place. As a result, this cycle prevented my self-development. 

What helped me overcome this is shifting my mindset. Even though I wouldn't like to think the negative thoughts are permanently removed my life, I feel more relaxed.Through life, we all undergo times of anxiousness, nervousness, and trouble. I have learnt to manage my thoughts and times when I feel stressed in a situation, I learn to take the situation as it is and avoid overthinking something so minor, and not to let it consume me.

By improving your thinking and interacting with people in your daily life; it will have a huge impact on your happiness and maybe even theirs. I know it seems so small thinking about it, but a change is as good as the rest. If it's "I'll smile more", if that works for you, roll with the punches! By thinking positively, this will affect your way of life within your relationships, communication, and so on.

Be mindful of your decisions, mention something positive to those around you, and learn to be happy with life. Only you can know when those feelings are present in your life. We are all different and that’s what makes life so great as we can learn from everything and anything and encounter new people and experiences every single day.

Furthermore, try turning a negative into a positive, don’t be scared of change and have your own back because who else will? This could work by writing a diary or journalling your thoughts down on paper, expressing your feelings and emotions or whatever works for you. Just start. Sometimes the hardest hurdle to jump over is beginning something and to start fresh.

Fear is something which is in all of us but sometimes fear can lead to something so unexpected. By stepping out of your comfort zone or going to a social event that you once feared, these experiences can become some of the best. You won't know until you try. You could apply for a new job position, or even start something new which you have always wanted but fear has always seemed to come in your way.

Personally, I feared large social scenes, where I would feel intimidated, frustrated and unsettled and this would overcloud my judgment to actually enjoy the experience. I'd feel scared, avoid certain situations, and "just not feel up to it today". But, that's ok. I was aware of what was my triggering my thoughts and learnt to overcome them by changing or altering my mindset, reaching out to talk to people and by help others this made me happy.

It's crucially important to talk. Just talk to someone, a friend, family member, or even a professional as there is something always willing to help, willing to hear, and willing to provide you with a solution.

Attempt something new each week, talk to an unfamiliar person, reach out to a family member, develop a hobby or perhaps go outside. Do what makes you happy.

We all learn in different ways so try to recognise and appreciate your way.

Ah...and just BREATHE.

Good things will come.